C.o.S.y.C

Ok, this is not like me to be asking ANYONE for a favor but we are in deep and need ahelping hand. Our current car is a 97′ Taurus Wagon that seats 8 very uncomfortably. This is not the problem. The problem is the car is VERY unsafe due to many mechanical issues that my wife and I can not afford to pay for. We have 4 children ages 4,4,3,1 and I no longer feel safe for my family in this vehicle.  The car is on it’s last leg and it would be more logical to get a new vehicle than to dump money in the the current one. We have gone to different places to see what we can get for a trade in and all of the places are only willing to trade for a couple hundred dollars and want the rest in cash. We tried the cash for clunkers and our car is supposed to get 1 mile more per gallon than is allowed to qualify. So that didn’t work either.

The doors are falling apart, the inside is filthy and soiled, the front end needs repaired and I am not talking cosmetically. Everytime we hit a bump we ground out and/or hear a metal to metal sound. When we are driving you also here that sound when not even hitting bumps. VERY unsafe, but without a vehicle my wife can not work, my kids can not go to school and I can not make sure that they are all getting around to Dr appointments, run errands and look for employment myself.

So I wouldn’t do this unless it was for the best interest for my family. I wouldn’t be asking for a hand out on my blog, the internet, Twitter, etc. This has to happen though. We are saving too. Please don’t think I am asking for something and not trying to help myself as well. As of today I have $350 dollars saved and will have more in the coming weeks. My goal is $2000 or more. However long it takes, but the sooner the better. I have set up a Paypal account for anyone, I mean ANYONE, that would like to contribute to my cause. I assure you that ANY money that is donated will be used for the purpose of getting my family into a clean, SAFE vehicle that is appropriate for our needs. Nothing fancy, just a reliable family van that is a resonable price in sound mechanical condition.

I thank everyone in advance for reading and/or making a donation. There is NO set amount to donate. $1 gets me closer to my goal. I will be sure to add pictures of my current vehicle today in an update and when I have obtained our family van, will also add pictures of EVERYTHING to assure anyone that they made a great choice and for a great cause.

Sincerely,

Eddie Dollman Jr and Family.
To make a donation please CLICK HERE!

“Hurry up and wait!” That is what life is all about. A nonstop waiting game if you so choose to play. For example, you file for unemployment, fill out a job application, voting results, to get over a sickness, etc. All about waiting to get results. In some cases you can choose an alternate route that you may find gets you to the place you want to be or answer you want to get, a little faster. In most cases though, cutting corners only makes things take longer. I personally get very fussy and impatient when it gets to be too long. Or if I know something is going to happen like a vacation, package in the mail, and so on. It becomes like Christmas for me and I honestly lose sleep over it sometimes. I am beginning to understand why it is nearly impossible for a child to wait. When in the waiting room, making dinner, driving in the car, when 15 minutes to us isn’t all that long, it is an eternity to children. It often makes me take the time to slow down and take life with a grain of salt.

Although having to wait on life is often a hassle and inconvenience, we need not take advantage nor forget that we only have 1 life and should live it to it’s fullest each and every day. Each day is a blessing and to quote a favorite movie of my kids, Kung Fu Panda ( great movie ) ”Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift, that is why it is called the Present!”  So waiting is life, there is no way around it. Finding ways to enjoy life while doing so is the real challenge. When in traffic and you just want to get home, breathe and enjoy that breath of fresh air. When waiting in line at the super market, look around and feel fortunate that you have the resources to be able to stand in line.

So in closing I would like to say this. When you get home to the ones you love, hug them. Love them to the fullest and never stop. Tell them everyday but most important SHOW THEM! Words are words, but actions speak much louder and are much more effective. Be proud of who you are and never forget. Live life, don’t let it live you. Or as I have said for a long time and do this within reason of course. “Live life, do whatever you want!”

We took the kids yesterday to the doctor because they are all sick. They have “flu like symptoms” said the doctor. They weren’t tested for the N1H1 virus or “swine flu” but were given the drug Tamiflu to treat their illness. Along with others to treat an ear infection and a chest cold. So they are all home sick today and I am not feeling well either. Having four kids sick and being sick at the same time is crappy. They all want me to take care of them and I want someone to take care of me. Or at least just let me sleep it off. That, however, is not going to happen. Nina has to work and pay the bills, and then this weekend she has a class in St. Pete to get her X-ray certification. So I am solo for the most part and it is, and is going to be, hard as all hell to take care of them and myself. As a parent you have to do what you have to do no matter how bad you feel. This is going to be a test of my patience though. I already have a hard time not throwing them out the window. ( That was a joke ) Now, not feeling any better than they do… we will see.

Otherwise, I am just listening to the police scanner online. I love the Colorado feeds. Even though I used to run from the law, I am very fascinated by just listening to what is going on back home.

It has been a little bit since my last entry and I am making some changes for the better in my all around life. Over the weekend the family and I went to the YMCA for the first time and went swimming. Everyone had fun, which is unusual. Most times we go out someone ends up crying or screaming and so on. Not this time though, it was really nice. Nina and I are starting to make some progress. I am practicing some new techniques and recommendations from a blog called “What She Needs From You”, that have been really making a difference. I am learning more about my wife and relationship just be following simple steps. So that is improving things around here. My unemployment is finally in the works since work is out of the question. My claim is going forward ans hopefully things will work out. I hate struggling. My family and I have been through way too much in the past year and can’t take many more hits.

I am currently listening to Country music for two reasons. I am trying to win Sugarland tickets for my wife and it calms me down. For some reason it is soothing in a way. Not full of hate like I usually listen to and not that crap rap that talks about sex, drugs and other bullshit. Speaking of which, KANYE WEST HATES WHITE PEOPLE! What he did to Taylor Swift at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards was wrong and uncalled for. I hope you get what is coming to you. Time to grow up Kanye, can’t make an ass out of yourself and treat people badly when you want attention. Should have spent more time with your dead mommy!! Had to get that out, it was eating at me for days…

So I am trying to make better, more positive choices in the next couple of weeks and see what kind of results I get. I am going to stop drinking again for a while because I feel that it is getting out of hand. I have been doing well but I feel myself losing control and that I don’t want. I have been able to stay away from pot for over 3 months now and haven’t replaced it with alcohol like the last time. Stress has been more intense lately and I want to remain in control.

Your life is in your hands, choose wisely!

Everyone has a best friend and mine just happens to be my wife. I love and care for her unconditionally and when things happen to her I try to be her best friend as well.

Nina has been having an issue with a lump in her breast for the past few months. She has gone to the doctor and has an ultrasound and so on. She was told that it was an “abnormal” cyst and that it was not cancerous. Great.. we thought. Now it is mid September and she is having another problem with the lump in her breast. Last night and today she has had a fowl discharge from her nipple that she compared to when our daughter get MRSA in a wound in her leg. Which I might add, was fucking nasty as all hell. But Nina is a team player and took care of that mess. Anyway, I of course go online and look at all possible scenarios and have gotten myself pretty worked up. Breast issues run in the ladies in her family and even caused lives lost.  I have read that it could be cancer, could be a cyst that is formed in the milk duct after child birth and becomes infected after time, could be this or that. All of which I don’t want her to have to go through. But I don’t make the decisions that her body does. I can only stand by her side and be the best friend she needs right now. I am VERY worried about her and I am sure that she is even more worried than I am. IT is not about me though, and this is what I have to accept and I WILL. I just can’t stop thinking about the “what if’s.”

Nina has an appointment tomorrow and will see another doctor which is what she has wanted to do for a while now. A second opinion is never a bad thing, I don’t think. I just wish it didn’t have to come down to visible infection to get it done. I have been an ass for the past few days even longer on others. She doesn’t need that shit nor does she deserve it. So yeah this is opening my eyes to new things and the way I treat her. She IS my best friend and I want to be hers. I just hope that it’s not too late, in a few ways.

I love you Nina and I am here, by your side, FOREVER.